• toofpic@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    I had a goth friend who would always get laid without much trouble. At some point he got a normal job and had to “become a normie”, and I learned that it wasn’t because he was a goth, it was because he was a complete asshole with women, and some women, for some reason, can’t resist assholes.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          Also, young people often are bad at determining how impressive someone is so they go off the social cues of just believing that they’re acting genuinely in line with their status. This means someone moderately attractive treating 21 year olds like they’re just barely worth their time can often get anything from sex to unpaid overtime if they sell it well and are indiscriminately fishing.

          Most people grow out of it, but some don’t. Then there’s also that the pool isn’t a representative sample of the population. The mature and discriminate are easy to miss (they filter heavily), more likely to leave low investment pools like tinder because the effort/value proposition is bad, and when they leave because of relationships will take longer to return to the pool. It’s not that all the good ones are taken, its that most of the bad ones are looking.

      • TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Certain women like asshole confidence. Typically the type to write “I’m a bitch, deal with it” in their bios

        • blarghly@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          I’ve known many women who were very nice and intelligent, who dated assholes. Usually they end the relationship thinking “ugh, why did I do that? That guy was such an asshole.”

          They do this because women are human, and do the very human thing of making mistakes and regretting them.

          • HalfSalesman@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            They do this because [even nice and intelligent] women are human horny, and do the very human horny thing of making mistakes and regretting them.

            Bad/terrible people can be hot. In fact, often when people are hot they feel more free to be their natural asshole selves because they can get away with it more. This applies to both men and women in all directions.

            In fact, some people want their partner to be mean to them, its more often hetero women who like that. If a guy can be mean and get away with it, that implies they’re hot shit, extremely confident, rich, and/or powerful. Those are attractive features in a guy.

            There are also hetero men who want women to be mean to them, especially in the bedroom.

            • blarghly@lemmy.world
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              3 days ago

              I can find no fault with anything you just said. Except maybe that having a thing for being abused spans all genders and sexual identities.

        • OhVenus_Baby@lemmy.ml
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          4 days ago

          Damn I need to power off. I’m like how does anyone write in their BIOS? I’m pretty sure it’s just settings. 😅

            • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              3 days ago

              Perhaps ironically, this is pretentious enough to convince me that you may indeed be an asshole.

              Task failed successfully?

                • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  3 days ago

                  Deeply communicating that you are an asshole, by continuing to be pretentious?

                  By showing that you are actually confident that being consistently pretentious is a good way to showcase this, despite claiming you have no confidence?

                  By disproving that your asshole status is self-evident, by showcasing that it actually requires a sustained interaction to demonstrate this?

                  I dunno, I’ve been around a lot of assholes, constantly contradicting themselves in ‘clever’ ways is pretty bog standard behavior.

                  • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                    3 days ago

                    Deeply communicating that you are an asshole, by continuing to be pretentious?

                    Now you begin to understand.

                    By disproving that your asshole status is self-evident, by showcasing that it actually requires a sustained interaction to demonstrate this?

                    My appearance should do, but, alas.

      • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        implies confidence.

        nope. it implies a craven amount of insecurity.

        it says something though that so many people assume this, it’s certainly not just you.

        • blarghly@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          Whatever. It gives off the impression of confidence. We’re trying to explain observed phenomena here, not cast moral judgements.

        • toofpic@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          In my case, you’re wrong, the guy is like a tank, insecurity is not the case. I see some people trying to “dig deeper”:

          • “maybe the women have insecurities, so it is them who are to blame”
          • “maybe the asshole is not an asshole, he just has a childhood trauma”
            No, he is a confident asshole, and his “charm” works one some women (and not each of them falls into made-up categories). People look for patterns too much. “I’m a red-piller” - lol, that’s a first.
            Note, I’m not protecting the guy, but he is not a comic-book villain with an origin story. He just happens to be successful in finding one-night stands because of a personal trait.
            Edit: forgotten line breaks
          • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            the guy is like a tank

            a lot of people who over-invest on physical attributes have serious insecurities.

            I hold to my premise. it in no way discredits him being an asshole in his coping with these issues.

            • toofpic@lemmy.world
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              3 days ago

              Not strong like a tank, I meant by attitude. Ok, you invent whatever person you want in your head.