Most people here don’t seem to understand what narcissism is. It’s not someone who feels superior to others or is insecure or any of that. It’s much deeper. It’s not a lack of empathy either. They are very good at faking empathy when they need to.
Go back to the myth. It’s not about feelings or egos. It’s about reflections. The key feature of a narcissist that most posts here are missing… the narcissist has no self. They only exist/validate themselves through how others see them. This is why it is their ego is so ‘fragile’. Because their ego entirely consists of how others perceive them. They have no separation of their own reality vs others perception. Their internal life is entirely consists of how others see them and without the constant affirmation from other people they cease to be. Hence why they can never be alone, and tend to form co-dependent relationships and be highly focused on image, not substance. It’s why their entire life is very controlled and anything that doesn’t fit into the box of reflections they have built around themselves must be totally and utterly rejected.
This is also why they are socially skilled and so charming. They mirror other people and that mirroring is generally considered flattering to most people. But if the mirror breaks down, or the subject upsets the positive feedback loop the narcissist has to reject/destroy them.
Non-narcissists have a self-image that is composed of a mix of how others see them and how they see themselves. Narcissists don’t have the ability to see themselves independent of others perceptions of them. That’s why normal people can shrug off someone not liking them or upsetting them… because they have something else to compare it to. A narcissist doesn’t.
Also normal people don’t pathologically mirror/manipulate others into liking them. They can let it go. A narcissist can’t. They only know how to manipulate/mirror others. They can’t engage in any authentic interactions with other people because they involve too much risk. Again why they only tend to be friend those they can control.
Most people here don’t seem to understand what narcissism is. It’s not someone who feels superior to others or is insecure or any of that. It’s much deeper. It’s not a lack of empathy either. They are very good at faking empathy when they need to.
Go back to the myth. It’s not about feelings or egos. It’s about reflections. The key feature of a narcissist that most posts here are missing… the narcissist has no self. They only exist/validate themselves through how others see them. This is why it is their ego is so ‘fragile’. Because their ego entirely consists of how others perceive them. They have no separation of their own reality vs others perception. Their internal life is entirely consists of how others see them and without the constant affirmation from other people they cease to be. Hence why they can never be alone, and tend to form co-dependent relationships and be highly focused on image, not substance. It’s why their entire life is very controlled and anything that doesn’t fit into the box of reflections they have built around themselves must be totally and utterly rejected.
This is also why they are socially skilled and so charming. They mirror other people and that mirroring is generally considered flattering to most people. But if the mirror breaks down, or the subject upsets the positive feedback loop the narcissist has to reject/destroy them.
Non-narcissists have a self-image that is composed of a mix of how others see them and how they see themselves. Narcissists don’t have the ability to see themselves independent of others perceptions of them. That’s why normal people can shrug off someone not liking them or upsetting them… because they have something else to compare it to. A narcissist doesn’t.
Also normal people don’t pathologically mirror/manipulate others into liking them. They can let it go. A narcissist can’t. They only know how to manipulate/mirror others. They can’t engage in any authentic interactions with other people because they involve too much risk. Again why they only tend to be friend those they can control.
A narcissists worst nightmare is being alone.