I understand that transphobic people exist online.
We also need to recognize that being trans doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of being an asshole, engaging in cyberharassment or any other negative social behaviors that all people are capable of.
Much like OP, I’ve been attacked by these people for supporting trans people in a way that wasn’t popular (I.e. not brigading Twitch streamers and harassing children playing Legacy of Hogwarts). I saw a user banned for saying to donate to the Trevor Project instead of brigading and I spoke up in support of them.
I was banned for “transphobia”.
There are absolutely mods/admins using their power in trans social spaces to attack and purge people for no reason other than that they’re not fully aligned with whatever dogma the mod feels is correct.
I just don’t even try to interact anymore. There will always be some chronically online commenter or mod who wants to try to deconstruct your every word choice looking for an angle to accuse you of saying something outrageous.
Alienating allies and bullying people out of the community is toxic and wrong, regardless of your being a member of a minority group.
I have several trans friends these days and two of them were friends all the way back in highschool, in a different city. They’ve recently found themselves distant from one another because there is a clash in ideologies.
One lays lower, goes about their business, and goes to queer events and all that stuff, though they’re still out there visibly trans. The other is very much an activist and will straight up yell at people on the street, I hear, and protests they organize have had at least one physical clash, to my knowledge. I can’t blame either of them, really, for the caution in these volatile times or the aggression when they’re pretty much the only group of people reliably standing up for their rights. The specific issue that came up was a whole thing, but suffice it to say there was a disagreement on tactics similar to what you mentioned.
Ultimately I think the no interaction thing is not a bad play. Allies or no, we aren’t them and while some communication is good sometimes it’s important to be reminded that we’ve entered someone else’s space. Not only someone else’s space, but space belonging to people who are constantly harrassed and feeling cornered just by existing and who will understably defend what little they do have with a maybe…overzealous approach. By the stories here are they handling it well? God no, that sounds wild, but my point still stands.
It goes for any margainalized group, I suppose, that by nature of being pushed aside one lives in a world where they must speak multiple “languages” and learn about how to live in more than one way. They end up generally being better people for it, but that doesn’t at all mean that every single one is better. For all the supportive, kind, and otherwise chill trans people there are still a very small handful who do things like forget who their allies are or even who go way off the deep-end and support the GOP or whatever equalivalent in their country.
I understand why it exists in online spaces, at the same time it’s on every person to speak up against bad behavior.
I didn’t magically become transphobic because someone was an asshole to me and I can empathize with what caused the behavior.
These kinds of reactions are still wrong and is harmful on both the individual level and to the community writ large. Because of that, people should not feel pressured to accept bad behavior or blamed for not walking on egg shells.
We all have the right to be treated with respect and dignity.
It’s true that we all deserve to be treated with respect and dignity but we equally have understand how much easier that is for one group compared to the other. Us cis people have all the power, and trans people are basically forced to exist in a constant state of fight-or-flight.
I remember the kind of person I allowed myself to become when I spent 40hrs a week at a job that didn’t value me. I was overly defensive even outside of work, and my self-esteem was already crappy enough, and this led to judging others too harshly as well. I didn’t even have space to fully recognize that my now ex-girlfriend really did care for me and didn’t have the patience to realize that she was going through exactly the same shit. And that was just my job! Imagine if nearly every waking moment made you constantly ready for a confrontation.
I was ultimately let go because I “wasn’t a good fit”. What really happened was that people with more power than me were mad that I didn’t kiss the ring. I wasn’t mean, but I made the mistake of thinking these people were different because on the face of it they really did seem better. I thought it was safe to talk to them about pay and they led with gaslighting me and trying to devalue me, and any attempt to push back was “rude” and they had the gall to say “I don’t know why you feel you can’t talk to us about stuff”.
Now bring that into this space and you can see how unbalanced everything is. Of course we feel safe around them, we have all the power, and we have to understand that it’s not the same in the other direction. Just being trusted enough to be allowed to be present is a fucking honour we should be proud of.
I’ll most likely be banned for this, but I guess they can support attack helicopters if they want. I just thought we were done with that joke over a decade ago, but it apparently only changed flavors.
The main admin and several users expressed support for that very canard.
Let them ban anyone they don’t like from their instance. Also, report or ban them when they abuse others on other instances. If it is a self-inflicted isolation, it will be fairly earned.
Self-defense is a universal right. Those who attempt to take away that right unavoidably become representatives of fascism. You never silence a voice that argues self-defense, you defeat its arguments (objectively and thoroughly).
Moving forward tentatively, it’s not about disengaging from a conflict. One needs to take a step back, use a method to clear their mind and view the situation without emotional attachment. Then attempt to solve the conflict into a acceptable or at least tolerable outcome. A conflict left unresolved will only fester into aggression and violence.
Simply moving on and allowing a perceived slight go unresolved does not work unless the objective solution found is to move on.
While the loss of a user is sad, people come and go. The better solution is to use the situation and apply the proper reports against those who target and abuse other users.
While the loss of a user is sad, people come and go. The better solution is to use the situation and apply the proper reports against those who target and abuse other users.
Tools like raising awareness of the behavior of a community and its admins?
I considered more in the vein of reporting the specific posts in question on their respective instances. Or using mod tools where available to ban problematic users from your own instances and communities.
But if you think it works, any solution you find should be sought. Even if it doesn’t lead to the expected results, fighting for a fairer environment is rarely a wrong thing to do.
What did I miss
I was in dbzer0 when I made some initial comments, in response to being called a transphobe (I contended that I was not a transphobe). I was banned by Ada, the Blahaj admin, for that. I then made a post on YePowerTrippingBastards (in dbzer0), being somewhat miffed that I was banned from another instance entirely, one which I don’t even use, for the crime of defending myself against accusations of transphobia.
The trans commenter who is leaving the Fediverse was banned, and again, this is for activity in dbzer0, by commenting on that post. They then made a post questioning the logic of that, and were subsequently accused of being a transphobe and a fascist for daring to object by Blahaj’s ‘brave’ defenders. The harassment was concentrated enough that they hit 100 comments in less than half a day and drove the trans user in question to leave the Fediverse entirely.
This is apparently a victory for the trans community. /s
Reposting this when the admin is prowling other instances to seek reasons to ban people who don’t even use her instance, and then bully trans folks who disagree with them in the process to the point of driving them off the Fediverse entirely, calling them transphobes and fascists, is what you give a ‘thumbs-up’ to?
I’m not really surprised.
Boot-flavored Kool-aid
PugJesus hates being called out, sends downvote squads.
sends downvote squads
lmao
Imagine being this paranoid.
You’re the one saying Blahaj has squads of downvotes anytime someone disagrees with the hive. I’m using your tactics against you to see how silly you sound.
You’re the one saying Blahaj has squads of downvotes anytime someone disagrees with the hive.
As usual, you display what is either a dire paucity of basic literacy, or a total disregard for basic integrity. Like how you were correctly at least three times on whether a situation was about pronouns and chose to, continually and with total disregard for what was plainly said, say that it was, not as a counterargument, but simply restating the position in the hopes that repetition would convince anyone skimming the conversation.
I’m using your tactics against you to see how silly you sound.
Well, I’m glad you think I’m as influential on the Fediverse as an entire instance, but I assure you that I’m not.
Wow, this really emotionally affected you. Honestly, I would just turn off the computer and walk away, but being as this appears to be some mix of ego hurt and hurt feelings, I’m guessing I’m gonna be reading about this for a minute.
Honestly I wish you would just drop it and move on with your life. I wouldn’t want to be a part of a community that didn’t want me, and you are clearly unwanted.
Honestly I wish you would just drop it and move on with your life. I wouldn’t want to be a part of a community that didn’t want me, and you are clearly unwanted.
I’m literally not part of the community. I haven’t posted there in forever. I found the fact that they dogpiled and bullied a trans user for wrongthink on another instance entirely, calling them a transphobe and a fascist, revolting.
Really, are you sure they weren’t acting in a facist way? Honestly your butt is so hurt you can see it from space.
Really, are you sure they weren’t acting in a facist way?
… yes. I am sure. The thread is literally linked in the OP.
Honestly your butt is so hurt you can see it from space.
… Jesus Christ.
Hey look, a liberal that doesn’t like queer people! Who could’ve guessed :D
Hey look, a liberal that doesn’t like queer people! Who could’ve guessed :D
I dislike queer people so much that I [checks notes]… am upset that a queer person was harassed off of the Fediverse…?
