My wife and I are going to a concert in a few months which is considered ‘girl pop’ and we have standing tickets. I wanted to get a look at what a show by this artist is like, so I search YouTube just to find it’s a bunch of young adult woman screaming anytime something is done like a dance move as an example, but this just isn’t me.
I have a worry that someone is going to start filming me for being ‘grumpy’ or whatever, usually I wouldn’t think this much into it, but I’m already going to be sticking out like a sore thumb and in the current year I always assume I’m in the background of someone’s video at any given moment and I don’t want my awkwardness being confused for anything else other than what it is.
Am I in over my head, or should I just not overthink it and try to enjoy myself?
You are overthinking it. Just enjoy yourself and take ear protection — besides the concert being loud, teenage girls scream really loud.
People don’t go to concerts to look at the audience. If anyone has a problem they are a gate keeping moron.
Guy over 30 here. I went to a PVRIS concert recently, and apparently the singer is a LGBT icon. Also the opener was Scene Queen. I definitely didn’t fit into the demographic, but I didn’t feel like I was sticking out either.
It was an awesome concert. IMO you’re overthinking it. Just have fun.
and apparently the singer is a LGBT icon.
Anyone who sees this and doesn’t immediately go “oh they’re gay as fuck” needs to replace the batteries in their gaydar:
Oh, new batteries won’t help. Mine is completely busted.
Take an edible and have a good time. No one cares.
Be aware of the venue and how crowded it could be. I’ve been to plenty of metal shows in my youth and been waaay to close the speakers. Surprisingly, what fucked my ears worse than anything was when I got invited by a girl friend to see the band “Live” (known for the song “The Dolphin’s Cry”) at a standing room venue. I was only like 20 but still being packed in tight among countless shrieking girls/young women gave me tinnitus for a week and my hearing has never been the same since.
Really though, don’t worry about how you are perceived. Just have fun, but maybe bring ear plugs just in case. Hell, I likely should have worn earplugs for most of my concerts regardless.
Enjoy the show. In the last two years, I was at 2 shows where a male companion and me were the oldest. And one show we were only beaten by boring parents which waited in the bar area instead of listening to a great show (imagine grumpy older Gen X being on their phones the entire time). It felt weird at first. Teens and young adults all around me. Every teen had so much swag and I needed Vexillology lesson because there were so many queer flags and didn’t know existed. The shows were nice (Tessa Violet and Cavetown) and I had a great time. Everything was calm, the bar always free, I guess because money is a lot tighter when you are young. If people notice you they’ll think you are a cool dude cause you enjoy good music.
Upvoted for the Vexillology reference.
But yeah, OP, just enjoy the show. Most of the attendants are going to be way too focused on the show, their friends, and themselves to care that some rando isn’t bopping along with them.
While you’re there, you’ll probably see someone twice as out of place as you, and immediately forget about them.
just be free to go, who cares – as long as you can enjoy it, nobody’s harmed. So go and have fun with your wife!
If you go and decide you like it then explore other girly things too.
Fuck gender norms, do whatever sounds interesting.
They would never film you if they think you’re grumpy, because they’re hired by the venue, the labels and artists, and it would be considered bad PR for them.
The cameras ususually only catch the front rows anyways, and the concert is way different and more relaxed when you arent in the mosh pit.
You’re also going there to enjoy it, in contrast to the parents that just go there because of their children, that will likely look way more grumpy than you.
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It’s possible you will feel weird about being there and not enjoy it. I was to two concerts of one of my favorite bands and I just didn’t really get it and enjoy it that much, because it was in a big crowd. The “live” thing just didn’t do it for me, so my conclusion is that I just prefer music by myself.
But the mood at the event itself shouldn’t keep you out, you like what you like and if it’s a cool community, they will not gatekeep it.
My wife and I
Showing up alone would be a bit weird. With your wife, nobody should give you a second look.
I just reached my mid-40s, and at the same time, I realized that I have been overthinking everything. Nobody cares, and those that do, you shouldn’t care about. Too many missed opportunities because I thought it worried too much and did too little. I think my new outlook may have been influenced by the ever increasing deaths of people around me. Time keeps speeding up, I’ll be dead soon. So will everyone. Do whatever you want, be nice to people, it’ll all be over too soon.
Just stay with your wife, it is not weird to accompany her…
Just go, dude, like if the “girls” in the band weren’t hitting their 30’s
