what did the horses do to you

chinese rusty-cheeked scimitar-babbler chinese rusty-cheeked scimitar-babbler chinese rusty-cheeked scimitar-babbler chinese rusty-cheeked scimitar-babbler chinese rusty-cheeked scimitar-babbler

standing ovation my boss’s wife is vegan and when he invited me to his house for dinner, his wife was raving on about how somebody stole her parking spot after she had gone to Starbucks. apparently Starbucks didn’t have a vegan- enough coffee for her. they also spelled her name wrong.

in that-one-dude-who-narrates-every-single-national-geographic-documentary voice "but in the forest, things are dangerous. the fairly common salad (salad dalas) is unaware that a particularly hungry vegan upper middle-class suburban mother (rehtom nabrubus, ssalc-elddim reppu nagev), this particular one in her 30’s, is stalking in the shadows. The salad’s only form of defense? A knack for witty, funny jokes that prevent the middle-aged vegan from eating it.

I used to have a Roomba in my apartment. I had a small step that was about 2 inches off the ground, and the Roomba kept falling off of it. It got caught on a small area rug that I had; it was pretty fluffy, so that it kept getting caught on the floofs was valid. but the Roomba could not clean up my cats litter. it just ran over it. absolutely no suction power in that thing. I eventually sold it on Facebook for 15 dollars. I paid about 400 dollars for it to do nothing at all. I then purchased a Dyson for 500 dollars. I still have it. it works perfectly.

what…? how much money did that Roomba cost for him to spend that much time and effort on recoding it?!

then they will buy it

ok this is actually pretty funny tho

no more

ok but why

that’s one my great great great grandfather used to say

oops I’ll repost

uhm is Joe a professional doctur that helps people that are half lemin???