“Just a dog” is like being “just an astronaut”. Cute pup though.

You can only spend so many months carrying full buckets of lukewarm cum through Disney’s hidden tunnels without thinking that there must be a better way.

Make sure to also drill some holes in the feet unless you want to send somebody out twice a day to drain it when it gets full.

Don’t forget “affirmative action”, it’s another one they’ll trot out in informal social gatherings (casual dress code, not the white hood) to say what they really mean with a little wiggle room to backpedal if challenged on it.

This study brought to you by the New England Journal of Fucking Duh.

I’ll have to wait and see which side of the family I take after. Not counting accidents and other premature bucket-kicking events, one half has a few who didn’t make it to 60, the other tends to get almost to the triple digits before keeling over.

I’d put the differences down to environment and lifestyle for the most part though, got some heavy drinkers and heavier eaters among our early departures and at least one cancer linked to a hazardous chemical exposure. Might not kill you right away unless you drown/choke/melt but it’s enough to knock a few decades off the lifespan.

Look at this optimist thinking we’re going to get old.

Luckily, that was just the decoy pipe. Real one’s buried underneath.

You’ve got a repetitive strain injury then, it’s a fish hole.

And yet if I use that response in an interview, it’s “unprofessional” and gets me “escorted out of the building by security.”

I think I know the suspect.