[edit: I thank everyone for their comments and time. A lot of very interesting opinions and view points. Unfortunately also a lot of things that went away from the actual answer. So I’m thinking maybe this thread can be closed without deleting it?]
The more I hear people talk about it who aren’t cis-het men, the more I hear criticism about the concept. But so far, I’ve only heard people say that it’s stupid, that it’s not a thing, that it’s men’s own fault etc. But I’ve yet to understand where that criticism comes from. I don’t want to start a discussion on whether or not it’s real or not. I just want to understand where the critics are coming from.
Hot take: healthy relationships, having friends, having a job, and taking care of yourself are pretty normal.
Not having some of these things is fine. But if you feel like you hopelessly can’t get one or more of them, then that is a legitimate problem in your life, and it is completely normal to feel bad about that.
Lots of guys are held back by looks and/or confidence.
Yeah? I mean, this is factually true, but I’m not sure why you are bringing it up.
Sure, it’s common to have healthy relationships, friends, a job, and take care of yourself.
However, it’s also common to endure brief or extended periods of not being able to do these things for a whole variety of reasons. It might be illness, caring for loved ones, children, loads of things.