I live in California and I can buy weed at the weed store.

Texans can’t.

Californian women have protected human rights that Texan women don’t.

So I guess my state has more freedom than Texas.

Also Alaska: It’s over, Texas. I have the high ground.

Alaska - High point: 20,320 feet - Sea level
Texas - High point: 8,749 feet - Sea level

Who the hell sticks a bumper sticker on the side of their car? Hell, who the hell sticks a bumper sticker anywhere but the windows? Good luck removing them without destroying your paint once you get sick of them.

laughs in Western Australian

the arrogant cowboys are the best NFL team to ever do it

It’s such a fundamental information.