“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my fork upon thee!”
In my mind I heard this as Samuel Jackson reciting the words without any intonation as if to check if he still remembers them 30-ish years later (he did that in an interview some time back).
Honestly more intimidating if you use the proper “Bless us our lord for these thy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen”
lobster bib with a little cartoon robber on it
what if he’s got a knife?
Far better than trying the Knifey-Spoony defense.
In truth the napkin and maybe one of those packet wet wipes would really sell it.
