It really is none of your business what consenting adults get up to. There are people vulnerable to exploitation at all ages, it isn’t your job to police them.
Eh, yes but no. Just because there’s no legal action doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be societal pressure to not be a creep and a weirdo. It should be unpopular to have a romantic relationship with anyone with whom you have a power imbalance (and age is definitely a power imbalance): dealing with the raised eyebrows and looks of concern can help keep misguided but well-meaning people from becoming creeps, and it can help the victims of predatory relationships realize when they aren’t in a good situation.
The previous commenter was right: there’s no magic switch that flips in your brain on your 18th birthday that makes you suddenly able to make adult decisions. Some people are ready, some aren’t. Biologically it’s uncommon for anyone to be truly grown before they’re in their late 20s, but our society decided we were going to set the bar super low; so for people who have trouble clearing even that bar, the societal pressure is a good thing.
I say this as a man who’s four years older than my wife, whom I met when I was 21 and she was 17. I knew I wasn’t going to date her until she turned 18, but even still, having the push-back of people who are smart and thoughtful, and who said, “hey, you need to recognize what is going on here, and how you’re going to mature before she does, and the potential for it to turn predatory even if you don’t mean for it to”—in hindsight I really value that warning, and it helped us to keep it really simple and light for the first several years while she figured out who she is and decided whether she even wanted to be with me.
Obviously we still ended up together, and now at 40 and 36 nobody bats an eye at our age difference. But when I think about the hurdles we faced even with only a 4-year difference, and imagine an age gap more than five times that size? I don’t think I could ever be in that situation, but even if I could, I’d want those smart and thoughtful people to check me.
The societal pressure doesn’t necessarily do the same things as the legal pressure, but it still helps.
No. It is so simple that I do not need to read beyond your first sentence. You do not get the right to call two consenting adults ‘weirdos’ for behaviour that you do not like. This is exactly the same mental state that homophobic and transphobic people adopt, and they are as convinced they are right as you are convinced you are.
Beyond this: fascists have exploited this kind of wild overstep to such a degree that is has been a contributing factor in the creation of a world I do not want. If you can disregard the law based on your personal preferences, so can they. Kindly stop it.
No where did I say that huge age gaps need to be illegal between consenting adult. I only made a value statement about how the relationship is inappropriate because younger adults are vulnerable to exploitation. At 18, most people do not have the financial means nor a strong support network to leave an abusive relationship or a manipulative partner.
It has nothing to do with LGBTQ people because being non-binary does not make one inherently vulnerable to exploitation by another non-binary person.
If young adults are vulnerable to exploitation why are they given the right to vote?
At what age are they no longer vulnerable and so trustworthy to vote? What about any other function in society?
You are talking complete nonsense. You are in the wrong. Your position is extremely harmful.
So, last time before I block, as I am now having to repeat myself. You do not get the right to tell consenting adults what they can and cannot do. Iran has morality police - they are called the guidance patrol: this is who you clearly think YOU are. You are not. We do not have morality police here. This attitude absolutely has contributed to the rise of Trump’s fascism, which, ironically might lead to morality police. You will fit right in.
Being able to vote doesn’t make one immune to exploitation. That’s as bizarre as saying that if you can do a backflip you’re immune to drowning.
The reason why 18 year old are allowed to vote is because they are typically entering the work force or higher education, likely paying rent or taxes, and thus are engaging in a social contract in which they are entitled to exercise their right to vote.
This has nothing to do with the lack of dating experience most 18 year olds have that render them vulnerable to understanding what is and isn’t a healthy relationship.
It’s ironic that you would call me the Iranian morality police while threatening to block me for voicing an opinion that explicitly supports the legal exploitation of age gaps. Again, I never said it should be illegal, just heavily frowned upon.
I cum to the thought of being blocked because nothing says ‘You’re right and I’m out of bullshit to say’ more than that.
It really is none of your business what consenting adults get up to. There are people vulnerable to exploitation at all ages, it isn’t your job to police them.
Eh, yes but no. Just because there’s no legal action doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be societal pressure to not be a creep and a weirdo. It should be unpopular to have a romantic relationship with anyone with whom you have a power imbalance (and age is definitely a power imbalance): dealing with the raised eyebrows and looks of concern can help keep misguided but well-meaning people from becoming creeps, and it can help the victims of predatory relationships realize when they aren’t in a good situation.
The previous commenter was right: there’s no magic switch that flips in your brain on your 18th birthday that makes you suddenly able to make adult decisions. Some people are ready, some aren’t. Biologically it’s uncommon for anyone to be truly grown before they’re in their late 20s, but our society decided we were going to set the bar super low; so for people who have trouble clearing even that bar, the societal pressure is a good thing.
I say this as a man who’s four years older than my wife, whom I met when I was 21 and she was 17. I knew I wasn’t going to date her until she turned 18, but even still, having the push-back of people who are smart and thoughtful, and who said, “hey, you need to recognize what is going on here, and how you’re going to mature before she does, and the potential for it to turn predatory even if you don’t mean for it to”—in hindsight I really value that warning, and it helped us to keep it really simple and light for the first several years while she figured out who she is and decided whether she even wanted to be with me.
Obviously we still ended up together, and now at 40 and 36 nobody bats an eye at our age difference. But when I think about the hurdles we faced even with only a 4-year difference, and imagine an age gap more than five times that size? I don’t think I could ever be in that situation, but even if I could, I’d want those smart and thoughtful people to check me.
The societal pressure doesn’t necessarily do the same things as the legal pressure, but it still helps.
No. It is so simple that I do not need to read beyond your first sentence. You do not get the right to call two consenting adults ‘weirdos’ for behaviour that you do not like. This is exactly the same mental state that homophobic and transphobic people adopt, and they are as convinced they are right as you are convinced you are.
Beyond this: fascists have exploited this kind of wild overstep to such a degree that is has been a contributing factor in the creation of a world I do not want. If you can disregard the law based on your personal preferences, so can they. Kindly stop it.
You’re confusing the law with personal judgment.
No where did I say that huge age gaps need to be illegal between consenting adult. I only made a value statement about how the relationship is inappropriate because younger adults are vulnerable to exploitation. At 18, most people do not have the financial means nor a strong support network to leave an abusive relationship or a manipulative partner.
It has nothing to do with LGBTQ people because being non-binary does not make one inherently vulnerable to exploitation by another non-binary person.
If young adults are vulnerable to exploitation why are they given the right to vote?
At what age are they no longer vulnerable and so trustworthy to vote? What about any other function in society?
You are talking complete nonsense. You are in the wrong. Your position is extremely harmful.
So, last time before I block, as I am now having to repeat myself. You do not get the right to tell consenting adults what they can and cannot do. Iran has morality police - they are called the guidance patrol: this is who you clearly think YOU are. You are not. We do not have morality police here. This attitude absolutely has contributed to the rise of Trump’s fascism, which, ironically might lead to morality police. You will fit right in.
Being able to vote doesn’t make one immune to exploitation. That’s as bizarre as saying that if you can do a backflip you’re immune to drowning.
The reason why 18 year old are allowed to vote is because they are typically entering the work force or higher education, likely paying rent or taxes, and thus are engaging in a social contract in which they are entitled to exercise their right to vote.
This has nothing to do with the lack of dating experience most 18 year olds have that render them vulnerable to understanding what is and isn’t a healthy relationship.
It’s ironic that you would call me the Iranian morality police while threatening to block me for voicing an opinion that explicitly supports the legal exploitation of age gaps. Again, I never said it should be illegal, just heavily frowned upon.
I cum to the thought of being blocked because nothing says ‘You’re right and I’m out of bullshit to say’ more than that.
Ok. Then I won’t read beyond yours either.