If you use private trackers, a VPN is irrelevant. All you need to do is fully encrypt your traffic in your torrent client so your ISP can’t see what you’re doing. It’s been working just fine for me for 15 years, and I’ve never gotten a letter.
I know this was already solved and I know this didn’t entirely fit your description, but when I read dun… dun dun DUN, I couldn’t help but think of master of puppets by Metallica https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E0ozmU9cJDg
It fits the vocalized part you were talking about too except the sound is coming from a guitar
They need to put you in charge!
You know how sometimes when you do a bunch of loads of laundry and forget to clean the lint trap you can just peel the lint out like it’s a thick sticker?
You can do that same thing on a large air purifier. It’s pretty gross because it’s all hair and dust.
Winix makes some nice full room air purifiers.